Don't Be Afraid
by benny09
Summary: Kelly is afraid to let someone truly love her. Can Dylan be the one to knock those walls down she has built around her heart and soul. Before it reaches the point of no return for Kelly to be loved by someone.
1. Chapter 1

Don't Be Afraid

_**Author's note: I am not forgetting about my story Beyond the Horizon it is just that I am not sure which way I want to take it right now. This idea came to me the other day and I just started writing and before I knew it has taken on a life of its own. **_

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of Beverly Hills 90210.

Intro: Dylan knew Kelly was scared to show her true feelings for him. He tried to love her but the closer he got to her the more she pushed him away. When he walked away that only made him feel worse. He married he said he was in love with Antonia she was killed. Kelly was there to help him pick up the pieces of his life but she never really let him in. Kelly never really let anyone inside her true self. She always hid behind this wall she built around herself, heart and soul. Dylan has to find away to break it down before Kelly reaches the point of no return for letting someone love her.

Chapter 1

Kelly sat in her room in the apartment she shared with Donna and David at the beach. She hated the way she felt but she was just too scared to show she cared for anyone.

Because she was afraid to let herself love anyone or be loved by someone. She had been hurt by her mother and her addictions the father who said he was coming to see her and never showed up. He seemed to always have an excuse. Brandon said he loved her and then ran into Andrea's arms. Steve said he loved her and she discovered he was a major player in the world of loving women. Kelly did not trust anyone anymore.

Kelly thought about Dylan there was something different about him not like the other guys she had been with. But could she trust him with her heart? Kelly felt connected to him in a way she did not understand.

She had seen how Dylan treated Brenda one of her best friends. How much he loved her then she went to London to study acting. He said he would be there for her when she came back home. But as soon as Valerie, came into town the promise when by the wayside. Brenda came home for a visit and found out. He had broken her heart.

Kelly heard a knock on her door.

"Kel, we are leaving now are you sure you do not want to come?" asked Donna.

"No I am just going to stay her today but thanks for asking, have fun," she said.

Donna and David and the rest of the gang were going to a beach party today. Kelly just did not feel like being part of it. Her father was suppose to come for a visit and did not show up again. He mother and Mel were fighting again. She just wanted some peace in her life and she did not know how or where to get it.

"Hey, Donna, David, it is good to see you here." Andrea said.

"Thanks," they said in unison.

"Kelly did not want to come?" Andrea asked.

"No, she said she just wanted to stay at home today." Donna told her.

"I am starting to get worried about her; Kelly never wants to do anything with us anymore." Andrea said.

Brandon came up behind Andrea and put his arms around her. He kissed her neck and nuzzled her.

"Kelly did not come again there is no surprise there," said Brandon.

"Hey, babe we were just talking about that." Andrea told him.

"It is like she just deserted us." Donna said.

"Guys, there is something you don't know."

Just then Steve and Dylan arrived everyone was there now. The party was huge it was the end of the summer party before they started college. The sun was high in the sky and the temperature was scorching. The waves were breaking nicely and the water was warm. It truly was a beautiful day.

Steve asked. "What don't we know?"

"Kelly's father was suppose to come home this weekend she was all pumped up for that then once again he let her down." David told them.

"Kelly just seems so sad all the time anymore," said Andrea.

"So how is everyone this fine day?" Steve asked.

"Hey guys were good." They said.

"Dylan are you going out with your board?" Brandon asked.

"Yeah as soon as I can run down to the water," he said.

Dylan took off to go surf and the rest of the gang just laughed as he hit the water. Dylan did some showing off.

Kelly walked out onto the deck. The party was just up the beach she could hear the music and many voices. She wished she could bring herself to go but she just felt so alone. She felt like no matter how close she got to someone they would always hurt her in someway.

Kelly had fallen asleep on one of the deck chairs when she opened her eyes the sun was setting. It looked like a red ball of fire going into the water. She heard someone come onto the deck.

"Who is there?" Kelly asked.

"It's me Kel," said Dylan

"Hi," she said.

The fact that Kelly was not at the party was not lost on Dylan. He had figured she would not come. But that did not mean he could not try to get her to come to the bon fire they were going to have.

"The bon fire is going to start soon I thought maybe you would like to come and join us." Dylan said.

"I don't know." Kelly answered.

"Come on Kel, it will be fun and you need to be around your friends now."

"I know your father let you down again." Dylan told her.

"Did Donna tell you that?" Kelly questioned.

"No David did," he said.

"I should have known one of them would say something." Kelly said tensely.

"Kelly, don't be mad David he just hates seeing you hurt by your father all the time and for that matter so do I." Dylan told her.

"Come on Kelly if you are not going to do it for you do it for me, ok?" Dylan asked.

Dylan reached down and grabbed Kelly's hand and pulled her up. They walked down the deck on to the beach and to the bon fire. Dylan sat down then pulled Kelly on to his chest and wrapped his arms around her. He gently kissed her neck and nuzzled her. Kelly thought to herself that being in his arms felt nice at least for the moment.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The gang fell asleep at the bon fire. Morning was just breaking. Dylan woke up and looked down at Kelly who was asleep in his arms. Watching her he could not help but wonder what had happened to this beautiful woman that made her so closed off. Kelly started to stir in his arms he lowered his head and gently and lightly kissed her lips. Kelly responded to it so he intensified it. Kelly opened her eyes a look of shock on her face, she pulled away from Dylan. He had stolen a kiss a chance he does not get all that often.

"You're ok Kel." Dylan told her.

"Why did you kiss me?" Kelly questioned.

"Sorry I did not mean to frighten you it's just that you are so cute when you are asleep; I just couldn't help myself." Dylan said.

The others started to wake up. It looked like it was going to be another beautiful day. They looked around.

"Good morning," they said to each other.

"He guys why don't we go to the Peach Pitt and have some breakfast." Steve said.

"That sounds great," agreed David.

"You are always hungry David." Donna said.

"It's true buddy." Brandon said to David.

The rest of the gang laughed because they knew it was true. David could out eat any of them even Steve.

So they cleaned up around the bon fire. And went to breakfast after they ate they went their separate ways.

Donna and Kelly went back to the beach apartment. They were talking about the up coming school year.

"Kel, you ok?" Donna asked.

"Yeah it is just hard to believe we are going into our second year of college." Kelly told her.

"I know but it is going to be great all our friends are going back."

"This year we get to put the new pledge's through hell week." Donna said.

"I know Donna but just hard being around people after what happened last year." Kelly told Donna.

"I understand that I wish you would have let me tell our friends about the mugging." said Donna.

"The truth is Donna I am not even sure I want to go back to the campus."

"You know they never found out who did and I thought that I am being stalked; I have felt like that all summer long." Kelly told Donna.

"I know Kel, and it was the end of the school year and the campus was busy and you felt they did not do enough to find him," said Donna.

"The guy had a gun pointed in my face and I am not supposed to be scared." Kelly said raising her voice.

"What if he comes looking for me again?" asked Kelly.

"I am sorry Kelly I did not mean to bring up bad memories." Donna told her.

"That's ok Donna it is never far from my mind anyway." Kelly told her.

"Kelly that may be part of the problem but you know what the under lying problem is." She told Kelly.

"It's the reason you do not trust anyone and do not get close to anyone."

"Kel, there is a guy out there who would walk through fire to get close to you and you push him away."

"You helped him through the most difficult times in his life." Donna said.

"I know Donna but I can't let myself go there." Kelly told her.

Dylan, Brandon, David and Steve went back to the beach for most of the day. Andrea came over to Kelly's and Donna's beach apartment so they could go shopping. Donna's phone rang. She looked to see who was calling it was David.

"Hey David," said Donna.

"I am here at the beach with the guys and we thought you girls could meet us at the After Dark at about eight o'clock." He told Donna.

Donna turned to Andrea and Kelly and told them that the guys want them to meet at the After Dark at eight.

"How does that sound?" she asked them.

Andrea said. "That sounds great."

Kelly shook her head no Donna looked at her and rolled her eyes. Donna told David it would just be her and Andrea.

David told them that it would just be Donna and Andrea. Dylan shook his head.

"Hey Dylan why don't we go for a walk," said Brandon.

Brandon and Dylan left for their walk. They walked in silence for awhile.

"Brandon, I just don't get it Kelly and I have known each other our whole lives and have been friends and yet she only allows me to hug her or touch her sometimes."

"Kelly has always been reserved even when we were young."

"She was my rock when my dad was killed and when Antonia was killed also. I depended on her for so much back then."

"I know Kelly was, she stood by you through your drinking and drug abuse also and other things you been through." Brandon said.

"And I give her a kiss this morning and she questions why I kissed her, I just don't understand." Dylan told him.

"Dylan, somewhere deep inside Kelly has the same feelings for you, it is she is terrified to let you see them."

"I do not know the reason why she is, but something must have happened a long time ago to make her feel like she does." Brandon told him.

"How can I help her if I do not know what it is?" Dylan asked.

"I don't know buddy but if you are really serious about Kelly you will do all you can to find out what happened and break that barrier down." Brandon told him.

Dylan and Brandon stood looking out at the ocean as the waves crashed in on the shore.

"Life is a lot like the ocean sometimes it is calm and sometimes it is furious; and once you can find out what causes that you can get to what the problem is." Brandon told Dylan.

Dylan gave Brandon a knowing look. He knew what he had to do it was just how he was going to do it is what he needs to figure out.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Dylan needed a plan to get Kelly out of her house and spend some alone time with him. Maybe he could get her to open up to him. He knows he has tried to do this before but he thought about what Brandon said and it made sense. One of the things Kelly feared the most was being loved or not being loved whatever the situation was at the time. If Dylan wanted Kelly's trust he knew he have to earn it. He knew how many times she had been hurt not only by a guy but by her mother's drug and alcohol use and the lack of commitment from her father saying he is coming and then never shows up. And also Dylan himself had hurt her. But the one person that hurts Kelly the most is Kelly herself.

It was the day before they went back to college and it was a perfect day to spend out on the water. So Dylan made arrangements to rent a jet ski and other surprises. He hopped into his car and drove to the beach house. He knocked on the door and Donna answered.

"Hey Dylan come in." Donna said.

"Hi, Donna how's it going?"

"Is Kelly here?" asked Dylan.

"Yes, she is in her room I will go get her for you." Donna told him.

Donna knocked on Kelly's door.

Kelly said. "Come in."

"Hi Kel, Dylan is here to see you." Donna said.

Kelly closed her eyes and shook her head. She just wanted to be alone.

"Do you know what he wants?" asked Kelly.

"Sorry he did not say, but I think he wants to talk to you."

"Come on Kel, cut the guy a break being with he for a little while is not going to kill you." stated Donna.

"Ok whatever tell him, I will be out in a minute." Kelly said.

Kelly sat there after Donna left just wondering what Dylan wanted. She thought to herself.

"Why can't people just let me be?"

Kelly went out to the living room where Donna and Dylan were talking.

"Hey, Kel there you are." Dylan said.

"Hi Dylan, Donna said you wanted to see me?" questioned Kelly.

"Yeah I do, I have plans for us today." Dylan said.

Kelly said. "I am really busy today getting ready for classes tomorrow."

"Please Kel, just this once do something you don't have to think about and just do it." Dylan asked her.

"Kelly, go with him and have fun look at as the last free day before when go back to our routine." Donna told her.

Kelly looked at both Donna and Dylan she knew she was out numbered.

"Ok, I will go with you Dylan." Kelly told him.

Dylan told her what she would need to bring with her for the day. Kelly looked at him oddly when he told but she went and got everything she needed. While she was doing that he told Donna what he had planed. Kelly came out with all of her stuff.

"Alright I am ready," she told Dylan.

"Ok, then lets roll," he said.

Dylan took Kelly's bag from and looked at Donna who smiled at him and mouthed good luck. Dylan returned the smile.

Brandon and Andrea were getting the picnic ready to take to Paradise Cove where Dylan had told them to bring it. Brandon found the blanket and the picnic basket. While Andrea got everything else, ready to put in the basket.

"I hope all goes the way Dylan hopes it does." Andrea said to Brandon.

"So do I sweetie," he said.

"God knows he is trying hard enough." Brandon told Andrea.

"Yeah he is trying." Andrea said.

"Ok everything is ready to go Brandon." Andrea told him.

So they packed the car and drove up to Paradise Cove. They laid everything down and then they left.

Dylan and Kelly arrived shortly after they had left. Dylan walked around the car to open Kelly's door for her. The he offered her his hand to hold. Kelly took it and then they walked down to Paradise Cove. Where Kelly saw a beautiful picnic laid out for them.

"When and who did you get do this?" she asked Dylan.

"Oh I have my ways." he told her as he gave her a smile.

Kelly eyed him cautiously she knew he was up to something. He just sat there getting everything out of the basket. Dylan was smiling to himself. Thinking that finally he was getting to spending time with Kelly; but this was only the beginning of the day.

Steve was getting the jet ski already for Dylan when they would get there. He knew how much he liked Kelly even though Kelly was his ex.

Steve had no ill feeling towards him.

Kelly and Dylan sat there eating their lunch quietly just taking in the scene. Dylan knew when she was ready she would talk. After they got done eating they cleaned up.

"Want to take a walk?" Dylan asked Kelly.

"Yes that would be nice." Kelly said.

Once again he offered his hand to her and she took it. They were walking along the beach watching some of the boats out on the water.

Kelly said. "Some of those boats are beautiful.

"Not as beautiful as you are." Dylan told her.

Kelly could feel her face blush. Dylan looked at her after he said it and could see she was embarrassed. He tightened his grip on her hand slightly as to let her know that it was ok.

"I have another surprise for you come on." He told her.

"Dylan, what is going on?" Kelly asked him.

"Why do you think anything is going on, aren't you having fun." asked Dylan.

"Yes, surprisingly I am." Kelly told him.

"You wound me Kel, am I that bad a guy that you can't be around me." Dylan asked with a smirk on his face.

Kelly gave him a smile and said. "No, I guess not.

They both laughed at that. Dylan drove to the beach club where he told Kelly to go and get into her bathing suit and Dylan did the same. Then they walk down the beach to where a jet ski was waiting for them.

"We are going out on that thing." Kelly stated.

"Yep, we are." Dylan told her.

"I don't know about this Dylan, I have never been on one before." Kelly said.

"Don't worry all you have to do is hold on tight to me and I will do the rest." He told her.

Dylan handed her a wetsuit and a lifejacket to put on. So they both got ready to go out on the water. Kelly still looked warily Dylan saw the look on her face.

"Kel, trust me it is going to be fun." He told her.

Dylan got on the jet ski and told Kelly to get behind him and put her arms around is waist and hold on tight. Kelly did it. He started it up and away they went.

"Having fun Kel?" Dylan asked her.

"Yes, go faster." Kelly told him.

Dylan went faster then he started to slow it as they came to a floating anchored dock . He pulled up along the side of it. He told Kelly to get off then he did the same. Kelly looked at him quizzically. Dylan gave her a smile.

"What are we doing out here?" she asked Dylan.

"Come and sit down Kel," he said.

"Why Dylan?" asked Kelly nervously.

"We need to have a talk about us." Dylan told Kelly.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Dylan reached out and took Kelly's hands into his. He looked intensely into her blue eyes.

"Kelly, I know you are afraid something happened to make you this way; but I do not know what or why." "You have helped so much when I needed it the most." "Kel, talk to me let be the one to help you now." Dylan told her.

Kelly put her head down looking at the dock. Dylan gently put his hand under chin and made her look at him.

"No more hiding behind those walls of yours Kelly." "We have known each all our lives." Dylan said.

"Dylan why does there have to be us?" questioned Kelly.

"Kelly, something happened to make you like this." "You have always been strong and you always have meant a challenge head on." "But you are not the Kelly Taylor I know and love." He told her.

Kelly looked at Dylan and saw the concern and love in his eyes. How she wanted him to hold her and tell her everything was going to be alright. But she just could not let herself go there again. She knew it would end like all the rest. Like had with, him before.

"Dylan, it's just that I am not ready for another relationship right now; truth is I am not sure I ever will be again." Kelly told him.

Dylan looked into those eyes again and saw all her pain and hurt. He also saw the fear a fear he wanted to understand so he could help her. Dylan gently put his arms around her and held her. He could feel her tense at his touch.

"Dylan, can we go back now?" Kelly asked.

"If that is what you want Kelly." "But before we leave here I want you to promise me that at anytime you want to talk that you will call me." "I will be there for you no matter what." Dylan told her.

Kelly nodded her head and smiled at him knowing he meant every word of it. Sometimes she felt so safe with him and others she just could not let herself feel those feelings she has for him.

They got back on the jet ski and went back to the beach. Dylan drove her home and walked her to the door.

"Thank you for today Dylan, it was nice." Kelly told him as she gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

"You are welcome anytime." Dylan said as he walked back to his car.

Kelly walked into the house and Donna was sitting on the couch.

"Well did you and Dylan have a good time." asked Donna.

Kelly gave her a knowing smile. Now she knew that Donna knew what he was up too. Kelly went over and sat on the couch next to Donna.

"So Dylan told you what he had planned didn't he?" "Who else was in on it Andrea and Brandon?" asked Kelly.

"Kelly, Dylan is trying so hard to want to understand what is going on with you." Donna said.

"I know he is but if I start a relationship with him again I am just going to be hurt again." "All my relationships end like that no matter what kind it is."

"Donna, don't you think that I would love not to be so afraid to let people in. Every time I try there is always something that gets in the way of it."

"Donna, your friendship is the only real relationship I have had most of my life." "You are always there when I need you." Kelly told Donna.

"I know Kel, and you are there when I need you but sometimes we need others there for us too."

"Look how long it took for David and I to finally get together." "A big part of a relationship is the trust between the two people, if you trust them enough it will work." Donna said.

"I know trust is a big part of it but I need to trust myself again, before I can start to trust anyone else." Kelly said.

"Ok Kel, you went with Dylan today." "If you did not trust him why did you go with him?" asked Donna.

"There are times I feel secure with Dylan and other times I think I just can't let him get too close again." "Because I will get let down and hurt again." "You know something I do not think I could handle that again." Kelly said.

Dylan was at home sitting in a chair reading when his mind wonders off thinking about the day. He really loved being with Kelly and hopefully she did also. But what worries him was the fear he saw in her eyes who or what could have done that to her. Kelly and Dylan have known each other all their lives. He knows what her life has been like but for her but to be like she is he does not understand. No, his life has not been easy either and many of their issues are the same.

Kelly had spent the summer in New York a few years ago and if he remembers correctly she was notably different when she came back. He really had not given much thought about it but maybe something happened in New York. He knew he would have to approach that subject very carefully. He would talk to Donna and see if she could tell him anything.

Dylan called Donna and asked if they could meet somewhere. Donna did not Kelly know who was on the phone.

"That would be great just let me know when ok." Donna said.

"Kelly is right there that is why you can't talk." stated Dylan.

"Yes, so I see you then, talk to you later." Donna told Dylan.

"Who was that?" asked Kelly.

"It was my mom she wanted to remind me that we are having lunch tomorrow." Donna told her.

"Oh ok." Kelly said.

Donna hated lying to Kelly but she thinks it is best if she does talk to Dylan, without Kelly knowing about it. Donna did not know what he wanted but she was going to be truthful with him. Donna knew she would have to break a confidence she has with Kelly but if it could help Kelly she would do anything. Dylan you maybe the only person, that can help Kelly.


End file.
